Friday, June 8, 2012

How Not To Choose a College

Today, I was going to do something productive, like clean my room or try to plot out a story using songs on Spotify, but I was distracted when the mail came. A while back, I got a scouting letter from Yale, one of those mass mailings sent out to everyone in the top ten percent of their class or something. I get a lot of college junk mail, so the only reason I noticed the Yale one was because, holy crap, it's Yale scouting me. I ignored it though, because none of the East Coast schools are super high on my list of potential colleges; I joked about it, in fact, saying that if I got one from Harvard, I'd race the two letters to see which one won, and that would be the elite school to which I'd apply and from which I'd be rejected. Well, the Harvard scouting letter came today, and I remembered that I kept the Yale one, just in case. So today, instead of being productive, I staged a grand experiment: Which School's Paper Airplane Will Win?


Now, I'm going to do this right, because: A) I'm really bored, and B) I think it's funny. So. Here's the experimental log.

The Great Paper Airplane Race

  • Goal: To see which airplane flies furthest
  • Necessary Materials:
    • Two (2) scouting letters, one each from Harvard and from Yale (each letter having two (2) pages)
    • Two (2) plain sheets of printer-quality paper
    • One (1) kitchen scale
    • One (1) tape measure
    • One (1) large, open basement in which to fly the planes.
  • Procedure
    • Weigh all sheets of paper, to determine if there is a bias towards either of the schools or the control. Not for any real reason, just for kicks.
    • Take one (1) sheet from each scouting letter and one (1) sheet of regular printer paper, and fold all three sheets into a normal paper airplane, like so.
    • Take the remaining sheets of paper and fold them into a different design of airplane. (I chose a slightly modified version of the Dart, the difference being that I folded the wings to give them a larger surface-area to weight ratio)
    • Carefully throw all six paper airplanes across the basement.
    • Measure after each set of throws and see which airplanes went furthest.
  • Results
      • (I'm going to record my thoughts here - bad form, I know)
    • Harvard's paper weighs in at .010 pounds per sheet, while Yale weighs .015 lbs each and printer paper weighs again a light .010 lbs. This may result in a bias against Yale. Sorry, Yale.
    • So, from a steady position  kneeling on my couch and leaning over the back, I start launching paper airplanes. First up were the normal planes. 
      • Test One (Normal planes)
        • Yale went first, with an unfortunate distance of ten feet, and an odd spin as it fell to the ground. Poor show, Yale
        • Harvard did the exact same thing, however, with a worse showing of six feet. 
        • The control went last, and did a loop before landing upside down, a somewhat better fifteen feet away.
          • At this point, I realized I'd folded the planes oddly, a mistest was called,  and time was taken to correct their wings.
      • Test One-B
        • Harvard was thrown again, with better results, but was batted from the air by a rogue cat before the flight was completed. Second mistest called.
      • Test One-C
        • Harvard successfully flew twenty feet, with a graceful twirl and upright landing
        • Yale successfully flew a surprising twenty-four feet, with a smooth landing and subsequent skid
        • The control went roughly twenty feet, but ran into a box before it could skid further.
      • Test Two (Dart planes)
          • After numerous mistests, the causes of which included but were not limited to: planes circling around and flying essentially negative feet, planes falling open and drifting to the ground mid-flight, another rogue cat, and a plane circling around and hitting me in the head, a stapler was procured and one (1) staple was added to the tail of each of the three dart planes, for structural support
        • Harvard flew a disappointing fourteen feet and landed upside down.
        • Yale flew a somewhat better twenty feet, landed upside down, and pulled a 180 degree spin upon landing.
        • The control did a nosedive, only flew eight feet.
  • Discussion
    • I should probably have thrown the planes several more times, just to make sure I achieved scientific rigour, but as the point of this experiment was mostly to entertain myself for an evening rather than actually prove anything, I'm not going to. 
    • Mean Distance Flown
      • Harvard: seventeen feet
      • Yale: twenty-two feet
      • Control: fourteen feet
        • I'm thinking that the control's paper, not being of the nice, high-quality, quite-possibly-parchment stuff that the colleges' paper was, didn't have quite the lift that they did. Or maybe I just threw it weird. I don't know.
  • Conclusion
    • Yale wins!
So much for choosing what elite school I want to be rejected from in a mature, adult fashion. Huzzah for paper airplanes!

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